To my younger sisters,
If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have done somethings differently. I would have waited to have sex until I was married, until I was ready. I would have listened to Mama when she said, “hey leave him alone, he’s no good.” I would have trusted my gut and never drank from a cup that I put down at a party. I would have never allowed him to use me as an ashtray and to control my every move. I would have never crossed the line in a friendship and ruin it. So many “I would haves.”
I’ve made a TON of mistakes that I’m not proud of. One of my biggest regrets is loving and waiting on a man to choose me. Waiting on a man to validate me. Being a “back pocket” chick. Allowing a man who did so little for me, control my emotions, my life. I’ve made the mistake of trying to change who I was to fit what they wanted me to be. I was blinded. Looking for validation and love because that ship had sailed with a father who was emotionally unavailable. So therefore I… attracted men who were also unavailable. Which I didn’t realize until recently. Here are a few of the hard lessons I’ve learned over the years. One, you don’t need validation from MAN. Two, soul ties are real. So be careful! Three, you don’t have to change yourself for HIM to love you. Four, follow your gut. Last but not least, listen to your Mama. She’s been there and done that.
If you feel ever feel-inadequate, know that you are enough. Don’t let anybody tell you anything different. I love you. You are worthy, beautiful, strong and courageous. Don’t ever become someone’s side chick. You are worth so much more. Always know that everything that glitters aint gold. Save yourself for marriage or until you’re ready. And if you already messed up, recommit yourself from this point on. Don’t be afraid to be you. Don’t ever second guess yourself. I love you and I’ll always be there! Whenever you feel alone, you’re not. You got a BIG sister who’s got your back. I love you beloved
Your Big Sister