Journal Post, Self-image, Singleness

If Only He Knew

If he knew, I wonder would it change anything….

I told him and something did change

Our relationship

Things never went back to the way it was

You’re probably thinking “isn’t that a good thing?”

Not in this scenario

I should’ve just kept my mouth closed like I normally would

But I was encouraged to

Say something

If you don’t he’ll never know.

Well he knows

And now I wish he didn’t.

I think my biggest fear was feeling rejected again because that feeling was all too familiar

Yet this time around it didn’t hurt that bad

I guess this go around the lesson in saying something: you’re not as afraid of rejection as you were before. You did something that you haven’t done in years and that’s be honest about how you’re feeling towards a guy you’re interested in.

This time around the bounce back was quick.

I didn’t beat myself up about it this go round, instead I applauded myself because I spoke up.

Lesson: Rejection doesn’t carry that much weight in my life any more like I thought it did.

I don’t have to fear the outcome when I’m being vulnerable…feel fear but do it anyway.

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