So many emotions
Was I suppose to reach out?
Or was I suppose to let fate decide
i stop myself from
saying the words out loud
as if leaving my mouth too often
might wear them down
-i love you
Quote from the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur
She once said “the only way to get great is to divorce good” -dr jackie greene
I guess this is my farewell
when you start loving someone new
you laugh at the indecisiveness of love
remember when you were sure
the last one was the one
and now here you are
redefining the one all over again
–a fresh love is a gift
Quote from the sun and her flowers rupi kaur
Is it time to give up yet?
**just how I’m feeling in this current moment**
“Daddy when am I gonna get a boo? You know like a bae! Someone I can say “oh that’s me right there, that’s bae!” #transparentmoment it literally hit me hard and got me “in my feelings,” when R&B artist Ella Mai dropped a single called Boo’d Up. She sings about being in love and being in a relationship and not finding anyone that could compare to bae. The hook was catchy! You know it,
Listen my to heart go ba-dum, boo’d up
Biddy-da-dum, boo’d up
Hear my heart go ba-dum, boo’d up
Biddy-da-dum it just won’t stop, it go
Ba-dum, boo’d up
As I was humming, I thought to myself. All my close/best friends either have boyfriends, spouses, and/or a few “baes” and I’m sitting here like what’s wrong with me? Why am I still single? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? WHY AM I STILL SINGLE? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who ask those questions. For a while those questions have been taunting me. I got to the point where I’m like “God, I am sick of being the third, fourth and/or fifth wheel. Bruh this can’t be life!” WHEN IS HE COMING? WILL HE EVER COME?
It wasn’t until recently. I’m talking about three or four days ago that reality hit me through a Reel sister of mine. She said, and I quote “God doesn’t want you to have male friends on the roster. He has a whole husband waiting on YOU to get over YOU!” yeah that wrecked me. In my mind I was ready. I’ve been single for 11 years. Yea you read it right. I’ve been in situationships, but no committed relationships. I was like God that is MORE THAN ENOUGH time for you to work on me. However, there are still some things he wants me to learn in my singleness. Some more character building that needs to take place. He’s still molding me into the Proverbs 31 woman. And he’s showing me that I’m not done healing.
So why am I still single, without a boo? It’s because he’s preparing me for my HUSBAND not just a “boo”. He’s also still preparing my husband. When I feel discouraged, I must remind myself that it’s all in his timing. My waiting is not in vain.
The Father said he doesn’t want me to be “Boo’d Up.” He wants me to be whole and to be Wife’d Up!