Uncategorized

02May2019

So today my emotions were all over the place. I’ve felt useless today, overwhelmed, disappointed, and lonely. My mind has been on 1000. I didn’t feel like myself with everything going on this week. So what I did was beat my face, put on my favorite sundress and ride out. Well I did that and I’m still in a fog. I’m not posting this for sympathy at all. I’m posting this to help someone who maybe in the same boat as myself. I didn’t want to talk to God today about it. I just wanted to fix it myself and I can’t. I tried to cover how I was feeling and GET OVER how I was feeling real quick. Then I talked to my sis and she said something that really stuck me.

“It’s unhealthy to rush through what you’re feeling!”

-SiQuena W.

So at this current moment I’m acknowledging how I feel. Standing in my feelings but not residing there. I’m going to cry it out, get me some ice cream, and watch my favorite movie and write later.

Whoever is reading this, and feeling the same way—don’t rush through how you’re feeling. Feel it love and keep it moving. #Transparentmoment #NotesToMySisters

P.S. i love you

Journal Post

A P A T H Y

Apathy-noun- lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern.

I was reading my devotional and this statement stood out to me.

Our apathy serves as a coping mechanism that shields us from feeling!

#Transparentmoment I’ve been there more times than I can count. I’m there. I’ve back spaced, and typed those two words at least 5 times in less than two minutes. If I am going to be transparent, then I have to share certain parts of me that I would typically hide. So there you have it. I am here in this moment where APATHY is prevalent.

After reading the devotional again (I’ve only read it 3 times) there was a statement that hit me like a ton of bricks.

 So we often create superficial selves and relegate every relationship to the shallow end of the relational experience. Because we know how badly rejection can hurt, we’re afraid that someone might get to know us and decide not to like us. BUT the foundation of intimacy is vulnerability, and if you can’t be vulnerable, honest, and open, then you will never be able to escape the terrible prison of superficiality. You will never be able to fully embrace what it is to be real.

WOW! Deep right?!!? That statement explains how I’ve been feeling the last few days. I think today I need to be refreshed, do something fun. I encourage you on today to get out and do something that you haven’t done in a while. Go get some ice cream or catch a movie. (I’m speaking to myself as well)! Staying in the mood of A P A T H Y is a choice!

 

Journal Post, Random

Gloomy

20July2018

gloomy.

so much pressure on my temples

watching the rain

as it tap dances on

the large window panes

watching the water as it

trickles down the window pane

and begins to fall so fastly

to the ground

&on the cars

gloomy.

everybody is still moving

the water running down the

window pane

makes me think of crying tears

how the flow of tears is a constant flow

its hard to determine whether the sky is crying tears of

joy or tears of sadness

gloomy.