Journal Post, new chapter, Singleness

Occupied

Occupied: adjective – 1. Busy and active 2. Being used by someone

Have you ever been in such a hurry to talk to your best friend about some bomb tea you just got? Only to call her and you get “the person you’re trying to reach is unavailable at this time.” Bummer right?!? How about being in a rush to use the restroom only to get there and the sign says “occupied?” Don’t you hate that?!! I know I do.

The adrenaline rush is an indescribable feeling. So much pressure getting to a place or waiting for something only to get there and it’s occupied. It’s a frustrating feeling to be in arms reach of something or someone but not able to access or use it because it’s being used or unavailable or busy. So now you’re just going to have to wait until it becomes available again. That’s a hurtful feeling.

Personally for me, waiting can be extremely aggravating especially when I’m in a rush. Like come on it shouldn’t take that long. Often times that’s how we look at the Father. Like come on Jesus, you’ve shown me a glimpse of my promise already and it’s in arms reach, I mean RIGHT THERE! Why do I still have to wait? Just let me have it already. And God is like, “hold tight Micaela, not yet.” I’m like but God I’m ready though.” In the famous words of my Pastor Travis Greene “If you were ready, YOU WOULD BE THERE!” That stung a little even reading it aloud just now.

It hit me literally today! Waiting isn’t all that bad. It’s what you’re doing while waiting that matters. My focus is allowing the Father to break me, mold me, get rid of somethings, show me some more things about myself that I need to change and live my best life. From the outside looking in, you can say that I’m occupied myself. I’m being used by the Father throughout this waiting process. It doesn’t always feel good and it does get lonely however it’ll be worth it in the end.

Journal Post, Uncategorized

Greenlight

** from a voice recording 24 May 2018. Literally at the stoplight**

So how many times have we tried to make the green light, like literally on two wheels trying to make it cause we don’t want the red light to catch us?

I know that’s so true for me! Like literally just now I was like on almost two wheels. Like bruh hurry up I don’t want to get stopped by this red light and I am going too doggone fast to slow down for this yellow light. It dawned on me how we are in such a rush that we don’t want to wait. We want everything quick. We want to cruise right through this green light. Not knowing the importance of the red light and of the yellow light. The yellow light is caution, you know like “warning comes before destruction.”

The red light is the “hey stop! This cannot continue!  Just stop, hang tight.” And although the stop seems like forever especially when I’m at the red light. I’m like bro this light has been red for at least 70 minutes, (yea maybe a little exaggerating.) But that’s how I feel. And I’m just like, “Why is it taking so long for this to change?” Wait Meme, you are ministering to yourself!!! #geesh Stop being in such a hurry to get things done or being in such a hurry to get to where you think you oughta be. For example, you’ve heard this line before, “Oh where your kids at, you bout to turn 30. Where’s ya husband?” So it puts a time limit on me. It puts me in a place to where I feel like I got to rush to find him and to have my babies . Because I mean, you’ll be 30 in December!

Trying to get the green light, when God clearly has me at a red light to prepare me, to develop my character in this red light season. So when the green light comes ain’t no stopping me baby. I’m good cause he’s good. I’m sure cause he’s sure. So now I know that I’m at a yellow light right now. The “caution baby girl!” Slow down!  Be still and know that I am God that I got this. I’m the one who’s in control. I don’t work on your time . I’m like, all right Jesus this yellow light is kind of uncomfortable. But I’ll sit here because I know eventually you’re going to put me at a red light to where everything’s going to be at a standstill and I’m going to be like God what are you doing? Do you not hear me?

The red light is to shape you it’s not to punish you. It’s to get you to slow down and realize that its me. I control when things move or shake in your life. I control what doors open and what doors shut. That’s all me. So whether you’re at the yellow light right now, in a caution season where he’s like slow down. Hold up Shawty. He’s preparing you. Even if you’re at a red light don’t be dismayed don’t be discouraged because He’s still working on you through the red light. Don’t get so caught up in catching the green light that we miss HIM in the stillness on the yellow and the red light.